It isn't like I intended to disappear from my own blog for over 8 months. It's more like I never think I have anything to say and I stare at my blog link and think "well maybe I should just post something, anything", but then I see something more interesting on the Net and I am off in a heartbeat. Within that split second I forget there is even anything I created, let alone a blog languishing for lack of attention.
And sure. I have a few people who read my blog 8 months ago. And if I actually put the time into it perhaps more would read it. But that brings me back to the thought that I really have nothing of interest to say. Which, of course, isn't true. My friends will tell me I have a lot to say. Not only that I have a lot to say, but that they actually enjoy hearing me say it. However, their view of me and my view of me never quite meshes. You know?
My mind plays old tapes sometimes. Do you ever have those go off on you? Tapes from childhood that say your opinion doesn't matter? I have a pretty tight grip on my mind after all these years, but every so often one of those hidden tapes starts to play and I find myself not pushing the stop button. Instead I listen and nod my head in agreement and get caught up in the lies--letting the old tapes stop me from doing something worthwhile and beneficial to my future. Like this blog. Oh, I don't think the blog will have any major effect in my career as a writer, except to teach me to actually carry through on a writing commitment. But that alone is a pretty big deal for a writer.
So, as this year winds down and a new year approaches I am going to work on this thing called blogging. Maybe by this time next year I will have it down. (If I trash that damned tape player, that is. Where did I put my hammer?)
Happy Holidays, everyone!