Going Forward

 It is an exciting time for me. I have finished my first novel and it is off with beta readers. And I have started the second novel in the series. So, good things are happening. It's a positive direction and I have momentum.

My love/hate relationship with blogging continues. But I have made a decision on that front, finally. For now, I'm going to stop blogging. I currently have a total of 8 followers, so few people will be disappointed. And I doubt even the followers I have will notice. I may come back to it once I have this first book published. Right now, however, I have no energy or time to devote to it. And to do it right you must devote energy and time. All my energy is tied up in getting my work out there for the public to read. The blog isn't even a tiny blimp on my radar. (Well, perhaps a minuscule blimp, since I am here making this post.)

I don't know how as an introvert I am going to market my writing, but hopefully I will be able to come up with a plan and carry it out. It is a part of me, these words that have flowed onto the page. A part of me I wish to share with everyone. I hope many people will find my work and want to read it, that I can find a way to let them know it exists once I publish it.

We'll see. It is just another learning curve in this writing journey.

I may be back. Until then, anyone who has read this post, go gently with yourself and with others. And always follow your dreams.

A New Year Of Promise

Perhaps the title is too ambitious. Perhaps I will fall flat on my face as I have so many times in the past. Or, perhaps this time things will go well and I will finish this WIP.

I am close. A couple more scenes and it will be done. I see it clearly, the end of this novel. Though the labor will be just beginning once the writing is done. People who are not writers don't know that. They think a person sits down, puts some words on a page, and "poof!"--it's a book. They don't see the labor that goes into creating it, editing it, tweaking it to the best it can be and then letting that baby go out into the world.

They also don't know what it takes to get the book, once it is polished and shining, into the reader's hands. I don't know by personal experience. But by other people's experiences I know it is daunting. Not an easy task at all. No guarantee, no matter how good the book.

It will be ok. Bring it on, world. I'm ready.

Just Not My Cup of Tea

I try. I really do. But life keeps sticking a foot out and tripping me. Sometimes multiple feet.

So many things have happened since my last blog post this past April. I'm not going to bore you with the sordid details. Those things have kept me from updating my blog, from writing, some from being online at all. And so the world spins and time passes.

When I look at the passage of time it depresses me. I'm just not good at this thing called blogging. Still, I struggle on because someone I trust and admire once told me it is important for a writer to do. Is that true, do you think? Perhaps some writers just aren't cut out for it.

I know for me, I'd rather be working on my world in my fantasy wip than saying inane things in a blog. I want to concentrate on the important things in life. I feel the sands of my life slipping through my fingers, and it scares me. I have books to finish and get published. I have stories to tell. I want these words out there for others to enjoy. I want people to meet the characters that have come alive as I have worked their stories onto the page. I want folks to smile and cry and wish for more time in the worlds I have created. Blogging doesn't accomplish this, at least not in my mind. Tell me, do you think I'm wrong?

Perhaps it is just not my cup of tea.

Lil's Sorrow

 This is a little something I wrote off of this picture prompt. I hope you enjoy it.

[image found at pixabay--here]

Lil's grief overwhelmed her once again. She had cried a million tears over the course of the months since her realm had been invaded—her family assassinated, her people slaughtered, her castle and towns burned to the ground. Nothing was spared the raving madness of the revenants driven into her kingdom by the vindictive king in the neighboring realm. Or the magic that destroyed everything else once the revenants were sent back to the ground. Nothing, except her.

How had he raised such a devastating army of the dead? How had he controlled them to do his bidding? How could anyone be so evil, destroying everything to punish one woman who had refused his advances? Tears soaked her clothing as the questions she had no answers for rolled over and over in her mind, ceaseless in their assault on her sanity.

He had left her enough food to survive months of wandering through the lands she had once ruled, allowing her only the gown and cloak she wore before he closed her within the shell of her once prosperous lands—left to die alone, bereft, a shadow of her former self. She was near the end now and still the tears flowed. She lowered her face into her hand, grasping the shreds of her filthy garment close about her with her other hand to lessen the chill from the wind, and prayed to the gods of her youth for mercy.

A stillness soon fell over the area and peace infused Lil's frail body. She couldn't move from the spot she was in, couldn't change her position by a fraction, but instinctively she knew something good was happening. There was no fear in her as she felt her skin harden, felt the tendrils grow from her feet through the rocks and into the soil underneath. Soon she was firmly rooted to the spot and she felt the water and nutrients flowing into her from the ground below. She was no longer hungry, no longer cold, no longer afraid. She found she could hear the slightest whisper of sound from the trees around her. They were not dead as she had thought they were, only resting until they could once again rise in their glory. She knew the moment the first green sprout timidly peeked out from a branch. Inwardly, she smiled in victory. Her lands would live again. The gods had answered her prayers.

She was no longer alone.

Kicking A Stone Down The Deserted Dirt Road

I have decided I am an expert at disappearing into "life" and concentrating on all the mundane elements without concentrating on the magical elements--like updating my blog and doing anything that furthers my goal of becoming a known, and paid, author. Though to be fair, I have been having more than my share of "life adventures" lately. And, I have been writing, though those efforts are not visible to others yet because the book isn't to the stage of public offering. (It will be soon, if I have any say in the matter.) I just may need to lighten up on myself a bit. I do tend to be overly critical of my own efforts. I'm fair to everyone around me. But me? Not so much. Perhaps that is left over perfectionism. It is a difficult revenant to deal with in one's life.

Here I am again, kicking a stone down the deserted dirt road of my blog, thinking that I need to bring this thing back to life somehow and commit to keeping it going--regardless. Frankly, I should probably just walk away and be done with it. But there is a glimmer of a dream, a patch of something on the road just ahead, that I can not turn away from. So, I'll just keep kicking this stone and see if that mirage up ahead isn't a phantasm after all. Magic can still happen, right?

A brief update followed by praise for Carol Berg

Past time to update my blog. I have nothing fantastic to say about my own pursuits in the writing arena, though I am starting back on a project with a co-writer that was dropped in process due to another collaborator leaving our team. We now have permission from the person who left to proceed, so it's on again. Wish me luck on that. I figure we are about half way through and he wants to publish in 6 months. I really need this. Fingers crossed!

So, lame as that was on my own writing progress, I do want to mention a new love of mine--author Carol Berg. I can not say enough good things about her and her writing. Her world crafting is expert. Her stories compelling. I hate reading first person stories as a general rule. Very few authors can hold me when it comes to first person, but Carol Berg does it with ease. She makes me forget what tense the writing is in, and I am immersed in the world. I have read her Collegia Magica series and am in the process of finishing The Lighthouse Duet series. I can't wait to read more.

If you love Fantasy, get this woman's books! Seriously. You will thank me. Just as I thank her for putting her words down on paper and sharing them for the reader's enjoyment. If I could dance and shout here to grab your attention, I would do so. Read her stuff! You won't be disappointed.

http://www.sff.net/people/carolberg/

Okay. So I don't have this down.

It isn't like I intended to disappear from my own blog for over 8 months. It's more like I never think I have anything to say and I stare at my blog link and think "well maybe I should just post something, anything", but then I see something more interesting on the Net and I am off in a heartbeat. Within that split second I forget there is even anything I created, let alone a blog languishing for lack of attention.

And sure. I have a few people who read my blog 8 months ago. And if I actually put the time into it perhaps more would read it. But that brings me back to the thought that I really have nothing of interest to say. Which, of course, isn't true. My friends will tell me I have a lot to say. Not only that I have a lot to say, but that they actually enjoy hearing me say it. However, their view of me and my view of me never quite meshes. You know?

My mind plays old tapes sometimes. Do you ever have those go off on you? Tapes from childhood that say your opinion doesn't matter? I have a pretty tight grip on my mind after all these years, but every so often one of those hidden tapes starts to play and I find myself not pushing the stop button. Instead I listen and nod my head in agreement and get caught up in the lies--letting the old tapes stop me from doing something worthwhile and beneficial to my future. Like this blog. Oh, I don't think the blog will have any major effect in my career as a writer, except to teach me to actually carry through on a writing commitment. But that alone is a pretty big deal for a writer.

So, as this year winds down and a new year approaches I am going to work on this thing called blogging. Maybe by this time next year I will have it down. (If I trash that damned tape player, that is. Where did I put my hammer?)

Happy Holidays, everyone!